What to do... What to do...

I applied for a job. In fact I have been applying for jobs since January. Up until then I have never even filled out a job application as something has always just jumped out into my path.


In my attempt to now take Control of the Universe I have decided to apply for just about any job that comes available in the hopes that I will be able to work it in with the 60 hours a week FREE labor that I put into the coffee shop along with my Personal Life which has become more important to me than Ever.

Searching for Employment at 40, and in a crumbling economy, has been a very humbling experience. Given the fact that the job market, in this area, has put women with Bachelors Degrees behind a desk answering phones, I have lowered my expectations a smidgeon. Actually a Giant Smidgeon.

Last Week I applied for a Dog Washing Job. Seriously. I could have squashed the Child interviewing me with one swat of the back of my hand. She is reading over my Resume, which seems quite impressive even to me. Office Manager of a (once) multimillion dollar company. Owner and Operating Manager of a Coffee Kiosk. Sales Woman Extraordinaire Etc.

Instead of being impressed, she flips the application over with her newly French Manicured Nails, and over and over again as if she is hoping to see something that she may have missed the first time. And says, “You just don’t seem to have the right qualifications for this job”. Silence. Really? I’m thinking “Really… you dumb Bitch… I have been washing Dogs and Cats and Kids Butts for the last 18 years… how freakin’ hard can it be? You tie them up. Suds ‘em up. Rinse them. For God’s sake it is not rocket science”.

I said Nothing. There was just to much that I wanted to say. And she was at an unfair disadvantage because she was just to dumb and inexperienced to understand anything that would have come out of my mouth besides maybe the F Word. Plus I did not want to be personally responsible for traumatizing her. No matter how dumb she was. So. I said Nothing.

I raised the Bar and applied for a receptionist job at a Veterinary Office. Its answering the phones. Right. She reads my application/resume and says I’m just way to Over Qualified. I try to explain to her that I’m ok with that, without sounding as if I’m begging. I was not convincing.

I send my Resume to a Church Office for a bookkeeping position. In my phone interview she asks me what my beliefs are. Not only did I NOT get the job, but I am now on their Prayer Chain.

And so. I continue to make Coffee while my partners are sunning themselves off their decks or whatever it is they do. And I wonder when I will ever listen to the advice of Friends and Loved ones. If I had a nickel for every person who distastefully said, “EWWW… going into business with Your Mother and Your Friend”… I wouldn’t be applying for a job anywhere. I’d be sitting on some sandy beach with my Honey Bunny, drinking Icey Cold Corona’s.

I think the lesson here is just to obvious to even point out.