Everything else is just Stuff!

We spend a lifetime working for ‘Stuff.’ I like ‘Stuff’ as much as the next guy. Although my idea of ‘Stuff’ is somewhat different than some that I know. My “Stuff” is a house that I can’t really afford in an economy that hasn’t allowed me to sell it. Or a new pair of jeans because my dryer shrunk mine. Or a $10.00 box of hair dye to hide the Grey. My gas tank miraculously full all the time would be a dream come true. My needs are pretty little.


There is nothing like that moment when you ask yourself what and who you are without all the Stuff. I’ve had the opportunity to do that more than once in my life. Dammit anyway.

I wanted the White Picket Fence dream for my kids. The happy loving Mom and Dad, the original set in tact, none of this Blended Family Business. A Couple of kids. The cute little house. The dog and the cat.

After I divorced the first time I was torn with Grief over not being able to give that to my kids regardless of trying for almost 14 years with a man who didn’t even know who I really was and resented the Awakened Person that I wanted to be. He married a Girl and Divorced a Broken Woman.

That Night that the Marriage ended and me and my two girls were laying on a deflating air mattress in my mothers spare bedroom, no job, no money, no home. We took nothing with us that night when we left. It was then that I first got the opportunity to Prioritize my Stuff list. As I was laying there trying to cry quietly, my oldest daughter said it all, “Mommy its ok. We have each other. And my dolly. And clean underwear.” And she was right. You got each other and clean underwear, and maybe a can of cream corn, and you’ve just about got everything that you need.

My impatience to wait for the Right One landed me with the two Wrong Ones. I kicked down doors and rushed into two marriages in an attempt to have the White Picket Fence Dream. By first impression, Instead what I got was a lot of grief and heartache. In the Moment that is how it felt.

I should have listened to my inner voice. The first time I got married I waited until one week before the wedding to ‘borrow’ a dress and the second time I ended up getting married in a black sweater dress I found in the bottom of my closet because the one I had didn’t fit and made me look like a white German sausage in heels. The big question being why did I hide that dress in the back of the closet and pretend it wasn’t there until the night before I was getting married. DUH.

In the Bigger Picture I know that it was all meant as a passage of growth so that I’d be ready when I did meet the Right One. I’d know it. And I’d Appreciate it and Honor it in a way that I was never capable of doing before.

The light at the end of the tunnel was always right in front of me. I was just clogging it with People and Things that didn‘t belong there.

The best thing that has come from this economy and the loss of my house hanging over my head on a daily basis along with the uncertainty of my future employment is that I have been forced, again, to look at my ‘Stuff” list and to realize what makes me Breath and Laugh and Live. Not that I had ever really forgotten.

It’s Love. Loving my beautiful amazing daughters. Loving my Soul Mate. Loving my Friends and Family. And being loved back by them. That is everything I have ever wanted in my life.

Everything else is just ‘Stuff’.