Tomorrow is a day I’m NOT looking forward too. The funeral of a 35 year old Mother and her Beautiful Vibrant 16 year old daughter, who was shot in the back by the Mother’s Boyfriend. 16 and Caught in the middle of a Domestic Violence Issue. It's Horrific.
Since I buried my 3rd baby, I have studiously avoided funerals. I will go to a “Celebration of LIFe” … THAT I can handle. Funerals. I’d rather NOT attend.
This one. I have to.
So. In preparation. Tonight. I turned off the lights. Lean in and turn on the shower. Candles lit. Glass full of wine. I was going to sit in the dark… and cry. A Gut Wrenching kind of cry. Just get IT out of the way. Again.
So that tomorrow I can Be strong for my daughter.
I slide the shower curtain to the side… and step in… CRUSHING some unsuspecting small plastic Soldier. Several of them in fact. Along with a few armored cars. And a few broken guns.
There had obviously been a battle in the shower, even before I got there. I’m not sure who won. They were still drying off.
While I was carrying the wet injured soldiers & their soapy vehicles out of the tub, to lay in front of ‘their owners bedroom’….
I smiled.
Deep inside. My inner Child Smiled and actually laughed. Yes. Out Loud. LOL.
I remembered the tub full of BathToys that ‘grandma Mc’ had in her closet. It was The Best Thing Ever…. A giant cream colored tub ...... full of empty makeup bottles, shampoo bottles, measuring cups & spoons. And in the middle of the tub was a bottle of Bubble Bath. Heaven in a Tub ..... Squirty Bubbly Bottles of Fun.
I can remember Charie and I sittin’ in that tub full of suds… filling and spraying every bottle. Dreaming... in the way that only a child can dream and play.
Something about Warm Water, Bubbles & Toys that can make you forget anything that extends outside the TUB.
Those were such Peaceful Great Memories.
So, as I lay the wet soldiers and their armored cars by Trenten’s door… I can’t help but think that in this World of Pain and Loss… there is definitely a ‘flip side’….
We HAVE to see what is right there in front of us. The Gifts.
They are so obvious.
Sometimes I am so bent on the past.. Judgment of others… Untruths in my own mind… that I don’t see the gifts that are right there in front of ME………. Just Waiting to be Claimed.
My LESSON:
A Bathtub full of Toys..... That is LIFE..... So Play! Enjoy! Live! Love! Laugh!
Tonight…I’ve decided to NOT sit in the Shower and Cry….
I've Put the Wet Battered & Bruised Soldiers by ‘their door’…………
.....and I’m going to Hug the Man I love.. Kiss the Kids I love … and Thank GOD for the LIFE he has Given ME!!!!
Our Souls LIVE the LIFE they are Supposed to. Then they GO Where we Will Once Again BE.
