What the Hell is Wrong with People?!?

Does anyone do the Right Thing just because it’s the Right Thing? Suck up their Pride & Fear of Losing Control and just be freakn’ Nice. How about that for a change. It is the rare person who will keep their mouth shut because they don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings or to go the extra mile and do something Nice because it felt like the right thing to do. Even though it may cost them a little extra time, energy or emotion. It is the rare person who will step up and say, “I’m sorry”. And mean it. I know a handful of these people and I hold them very close to my heart. The others. I avoid as much as possible. Denial & Avoidance being my friend.

Every one is so busy defending and justifying their actions that they forget it sometimes doesn’t matter what got you to that place. Your there. Make the best of it and do what is Right. Which is an interesting concept, all on its own, as Everyone’s ‘Right’ is based on their version of Reality and Truth. Both of which I have found varies by an incredible degree depending on the person and the Journey that they have traveled.

Take custody issues for instance… and I only draw on these because it seems I have become some kind of a Custody Follower… landing in the middle of dysfunctional divorced families like some kind of Drama Starved Custody Groupie. Over the last 9 years I have had the occasion to witness, up close, the tearing apart of a child’s soul by one parent or the other in 4, mind you, FOUR separate Custody Battles, mine included. Which has spanned the better part of my children’s life.

Not that I won’t be completely supportive of my ‘honey’s’ current battle I’m just somewhat a little ‘cold’ and harsh with my advice. Stand up Now or be prepared to Battle that Bitch for the next 8 years. How’s that for blunt.

Even my children, who are over the battles as well, tell me that they really feel that I should have stood up to their Father 9 years ago.  Instead of trying to be the Nice One.  I basically lay down and became a brightly colored floor mat upon which 'he' would rake his anger over for the next 9 years.  Clawing and Tearing his way through the kids childhood.  Had I been strong Back Then,  I would have saved myself & our children,  a lot of grief and trips in and out of Family Court. God Bless those People for the Thankless job that they have.  

Really great advice coming from the kids who were torn between the two of us and witnessed it from all perspectives. His, Mine and Mostly Theirs. I thought I was doing what was Right. Apparently, he did to. And yet in the end I’m not sure that either one of us did ‘Right’ by our kids. Certainly, him less than me. Of course. HA.

I have tried to pick my battles carefully. I mean how do you Co~Parent with a man who says, “Fxxk You” at the beginning and end of almost every conversation with you and who doesn’t see his 15 year old daughter for a month but hands her an information packet on STD’s even before he hugs her and says, “Hi and how the hell are ya’”. Within the hour, he hands her a suitcase of her stuff and tells her to ‘take it to mom’s you no longer live here’, Which is followed by him giving her a permission form to ride the bus after school to his house. Can you spell Confused? What the hell is she supposed to do with that. Move out you don’t live here… but I don’t want your Mother getting ’ownership’ of the bus route? Other than clubbing him with a 2x4 on the ‘soft side of his head‘,… I have no advice.

Then you have a Mother who claims she wants custody of her child back after 3+ years, but doesn’t feel she is responsible for medical or school clothing or any of the traveling to get them to her house. Was she NOT present at the Birth. I’m not sure.

Given the fact that I once took off work and drove 40 miles round trip to ‘retrieve’ a forgotten bag of rocks that was meant for an art project being done at school THAT day, I can NOT wrap my brain around these kinds of parents. They have let Anger & Control & Fear of Losing the Battle, cloud their Realities and keep them from doing what is Right by these Kids.

Last Week. I saw MY Mother in the grocery store. I haven’t seen her in almost 9 months & even then it wasn’t a pleasant experience for either one of us. Her anger being palpable.

My daughter turned around and ran to hug grandma. I kept walking. I went around 3 aisles and was trying to decide how I was going to make my escape out the front of Walmart without looking like the store had caught on fire.

Suddenly it hit me just how ridiculous it was. She is my Mother. She gave Birth to Me. What’s she gonna do? Eat me in the Store? She’s to old to be eating her ‘young’ and quite frankly, I’m to big.

So I turned around and pushed my cart over to her. Before I could say ‘Hi’ She looked at me and was Gone. Awwww. So that’s what she can do. Reject Me. Right there in Public. In front of my own daughters. I wasn’t sure if I should cry or scream at her to come back and SEE her daughter. I did neither. I stood in silence and wondered, ‘What the Hell is Wrong with People… was she NOT present at my Birth… Helllooooo?’.

The last time I spoke to My Mother she asked Me, “What do you want from Me”. I wanted to say, “For you to Love me Mom”. I said Nothing. Until she hung up on me. Then I told her everything.